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I have decided to change my major. When I grow up, I am going to be an artist. Anyone who knows me, knows I have been creative, all my life. A gift from my grandmother that just keeps giving. It's funny, because now that I have commit myself to this idea, it seems silly that I ever went for anything else. I do LOVE psychology thought.
To me the brain is fascinating.  The way it works, the way it adapts, the way it heals. The neural connections a thought travels through, reactions it produces and how quickly it all takes place. . .it amazes me. I was thinking yesterday, it's a little bit sad that there will be no more brain learning, at least not while I procure my associates, and then I looked around. There were 6 psychology magazines within arms reach, and I realized, I don't have to give up brain learnin'. Not when information is so easy to come by.
That's when something funny hit me. I am going to be an artist, with a hobby of psychology. I can be so backwards sometimes. I LOVE IT

Look how artistic the brain is all on its own

Why in the world would she ask that?!?!?

Yesterday on facebook, I asked the question, "Has anyone else noticed the limitations being married puts on who you can be friends with". The responses that I got were mixed, but not really surprising. "ummmm no?" "ohhh ya!" "That's just how it goes..." "It does? Who want's to be friends with who?" and "Yep! But if you are married to your best friend it doesn't matter, right?". All of these responses were from women. So to the two who haven't noticed, I ask, have you made friends with any men since you have been married? Not a man and his wife or girlfriend, not a man your husband works with or introduced you too, I am talking about a man you have met in your day to day life. Do you talk often outside of the place that the two of you have in common? 
How do your husbands feel about this friendship?
I am not saying that I am ignorant as to why this is. I know that if Cory started talking to a woman all of the time, I would have some insecurities about that. My question is why are we built that way? Why is jealousy our first reaction to a friendship with someone of the opposite sex? I am curious if it works the same way for gay people. Is it considered taboo for them to make friends with another homosexual of the same sex?

Stay tuned. this is an ongoing though/wonderment so chances are there will be more blogging about it. But I have done that thing where I think myself in circles and nothing makes sense anymore. 

The 3am brain scramble.

Have you ever woken up on the middle of the night, and your brain just takes off running? That was me last night at 3. Cory had to leave for work early, and that is what time the poor guy what to get up. And this is how the next 2 hours went for me.

Ick 3am. Poor Cory
Bed's all mine

mmm back to sleep
. . .feel like I'm living a teenage dream.
I hope Riley doesn't wake up when Cory leaves,
Should I turn on the light and read?
No, only 3 hours left.
man its a good book.
DJ got us falling in love.
Riley will learn to read soon.
alphabets confusing
is there anything K can do that C can't?
Don't think so.
Maybe I should just get up.
seriously? its only 330
but I have been getting up early lately
not this early
try to focus on one thing
horse
man my brain draws good
why don't my hands draw that good
wish I could draw
Cuz it goes on and on and on. and it goes on and on and on.
D-E-A-R, D-E-E-R, B-E-A-R. man that has to be hard to explain to a kid.  if d-e-a-r and d-e-e-r are pronounced the same why isn't b-e-a-r pronounced beer. or d-e-a-r pronounced dare.
man brain, shut up.
420 man! fall asleep would you.
maybe I should read just to clear my head.
no. I would end up staying awake.
Back to the horse.
neck head shoulder.
impressed with the detail
stop
just the horse.

did I sleep?
I think so
530
well I guess I'll get up.
at least it'll be quiet for a while                                                                                          

What is going on here?!?!

I live a fairly simple life with fairly common stressers, money, parenting, the occasionally deployed husband. It has gotten to the point now that most of the time these things aren't as stressful, but more of a pain in my arse. Life had gotten boring and I was feeling under stimulated so I decided to make a big change in my life, I decided to go back to school as a full time student. Now all of the sudden everything is a stresser. I few weeks ago I blew out my knee skiing, laying me up on the couch for 2 weeks, and calling into question whether I would even be able to go to school. A few days before I was supposed to register for classes I found out that the program that had approved me for 6k of free school money temporarily shut down leaving me in the lurch, so we ended up using money we were planning on using for some much needed family fun time to pay for classes instead. An MRI shows that the knee I thought was getting better, actually has extensive damage and a possible fracture, and will most likely require surgery. It is going to be 3 weeks before I can get in to see an orthopedic surgeon, which seems like a lifetime to wait when you are barely mobile and like an idiot REALLY hurt it again today. Two days after registering and paying for school I found out that the free school money program was opening up again to previously approved students making me think that I had missed it by two days. Luckily I didn't. I can get them to approve payment for my classes and the school will refund me my money which is great and I am very happy about but it is one more thing to take care of in my super hectic life and all of this on top of the fear of failure and the unknown that comes with going back to school....No wonder I can't sleep      

My heart tells me....

I have always been quiet about religion, keeping my thoughts and opinions to myself. And if you would have asked me 10 years ago what I believed, I would have said I don't know, but please don't try to push your god on me. I have never been Christian, I just couldn't wrap my head around it. A few years ago, I started researching religions and found one that just spoke to me. There was no "converting" involved. It was everything I had believed all of my life and hadn't had a name for. . . Paganism. Unfortunately there is a stigma attached to paganism, that made it uncomfortable for me to..well...come out, for lack of a better term. Not that I ever felt the need. I believe that a persons relationship with their deity or deities is a very personal one that should be kept private, but I never want to hide who I am. I don't want to be stashing books or other religious paraphernalia, when people come over, and I will not lie about it when asked. I am very comfortable with my relationship with my god and goddess, I just don't want to be judged for it. I do not believe in the devil or hell. I do believe that all life is sacred, and I believe in the "creed" harm none and do what thou will. But my biggest belief is that paganism isn't the only way. It is what works for me. I will not go door to door preaching my beliefs to anyone. I will never tell anyone that their beliefs are wrong, as I said a persons relationship with their deity is a special one that no one meddle in. I do have one pet peeve, the expression "god fearing" Why should anyone fear their god? The god and Goddess are my friends. I speak to them as I would a friend and I love them, and they love me as friends do. So why the fear?
That said...I will never ever tell my children what to believe. They will find what is right for them when they are ready. I will tell them what I believe, and Cory being a christian, will tell them what he believes. I will help them research Buddhism, Judaism, or any other religion. When they ask me what happens when people die I will tell them that no one knows but different people believe different things, and give them some examples, and then ask them what they think happens. I will encourage them to believe in something and give them things to think about, but their religion will be up to them.   

Come on people...Who's the real bad guy here

 Please check out this article first, and then read on friends
eighty-one-year-old catholic preist and nun abused after weapons protest

I don't even know where to start with this.The article is a couple of months old, and I did read it back when it was still news, but it is a story that won't leave my head because it bothers me so much . For the people reading this blog who don't actually know me (of there are any). This is the base where Cory is stationed, and before we bought our house, was where we lived. These people who broke in to the base, broke in to the super duper top secret area, that even I as a wife am not allowed to go, unless it is to pick up or drop off Cory at the boat, and when I do go down there, it is a no lolly gagging or meandering situation. Straight to the boat and straight back off the premises. There are mp's on the road that will stop you if you look like you are taking a tour and they will escort you back up if they think you shouldn't be there.

The thing that bothers me the most is that the people who wrote this story, spun it to make the military look bad. Yes, they were old and yes they were a priest and a nun, but they broke into a top secret facility, where deadly force is authorized. They are lucky they weren't shot... and should be great-full for that. It seems to me that breaking onto a military base is an act of terrorism That is just my opinion of course. These people were charged with misdemeanors and then released.

Yes the ground probably was cold and wet. That is Washington in November...cold and wet, and yes they sat there for 4 hours with bags on their heads. But if the mp's don't know who you are or what your intentions are they can't just let you go. these people wouldn't give any information but their names. That really isn't conducive to speeding up their release. They had bags on their heads because they were in a top secret area, with the possibility of seeing things that shouldn't be seen, not because the were about to executed by a terrorist.

There are other things I could say about their reasoning for doing what they did, but that isn't what this is about. I hate it when the military is put into a bad light, and not just because I am married to a military man. These people defend us and protect us. They leave their homes and family's to go over seas to fight a war that can't be won. They patrol our waters to keep us safe at home. And some make the ultimate sacrifice for our freedom. I understand that there are people who don't agree with the war. I am one of them. but I support our troops. They aren't the ones starting the wars. They act under orders from people who sit in offices. I don't understand the people who don't support our troops, but I know that in this country, people are lucky enough to be able to voice their opinions and the Naval base doesn't try to stop the picketers outside of the gates. If these people had done that they could have gotten their point across, without ever having laid on the wet ground with bags on their heads and they probably wouldn't have that pesky criminal record to boot.   

Cheesy but true

I don't know what it is about them but I LOVE bald eagles. Growing up in Michigan, I had never seen one in the wild. There was one at the Detroit zoo that was a bit of a celebrity. He only had one leg. He had lost it somehow in the wild and the zoo gave him a place to live. I remember seeing him and feeling sad that he had lost his leg, but I didn't feel any other connection than that. There are some that live in the upper peninsula but I think I have been there once. I don't remember the first bald eagle I have seen but I remember several others, and every time I see one I can't help but stare at it (unfortunately this also applies when I am driving)

Cory and I were married on the San Juan Islands Orcas Island to be specific (that's another animal I feel a connection with but that is a different blog) I remember walking around a building to get some pictures taken and a huge eagle came winging through at eye level right between us and the building. It was AMAZING. I have only ever seen one other flying that low to the ground and that was one that I got to look it right in the eye. It may sound strange but I lost myself for a second, watching that bird fly by. Time slowed my jaw dropped and my eyes locked on that yellow eye. I haven't had anything like that happen to me since. I spot them a lot, sometimes several in a week. I think it just depends on how often I get out of the house lol. But it seems like I always see them during a change in my life. The day I was married, on the drive out from Michigan to here there was one perched on a post on the side of the road. A few weeks ago I went to start making official plans to go back to school  and half way to where I was going there was a big bald eagle landing in a tree. Maybe they are my lucky charm. I don't know, but there is something about them that just amazes me.